I love Papis, I mean, Paris

The article below was written by Colette Davidson. She has written articles for this blog before and this is the second article she has submitted to this blog. Her blog is located here.

I love Papis… I mean, Paris!

Written By: Colette Davidson





France loves to shake things up. After three years in this country, I don’t necessarily look for absurdity anymore. At first, I noticed it all around me. Like, why were all the men under five-foot-five with shaggy beards and John Lennon glasses? And why didn’t women give the courtesy smile when leaving the public bathroom stalls?



Still, I am not immune to bizarre experiences here and so, because I am apparently due, I had one. It was like giving birth, really. Scary and painful but joyful afterwards. At least this is what I assume child birth to be like. The closest I have come was when I crotched the beam on a straddle jump at gymnastics practice in the ninth grade, and then landed it perfectly, minutes later.



Well, my vagina didn’t exactly have to push a live, human head out of itself today, but I do think it was sufficiently traumatized, as was I. In any normal American setup, going to the gyno would just be mildly humiliating. But in France, it’s downright weird. No other fancy vocabulary to describe it. Just weird.



First, I have to say that the Paris doctors are really doing something right because ever since I got here, it’s one fancy waiting room after another. Whereas in smaller towns, the doctors actually put up copies of their medical diplomas on the walls, the Paris ones just sling a Monet up there or place a finely crafted piece of modern art in the corner.



Dr. Villeneuve was no exception. In order to disguise the fact that her office was in the middle of the French version of the projects, she filled her space with wicker chairs with white cushions, potted orchids and bamboo. I knew I was going to get along fine with this one. Until, until…



An unusually hoarse voice called my name and I wandered over to shake hands with not a woman… but a girl. A girl my age.



Now for some reason, I have more of a problem letting someone who I could share a beer with after work look at my hoo-ha than a mother figure. Maybe because in my head, moms are supposed to help you out in a bind. Like when you have a yeast infection? Okay fine, the logic doesn’t make sense, but I was really struggling to picture this girl who could be one of my friends seeing me naked after only knowing me for ten minutes.



Luckily, the doctor wasted plenty of time getting to know allll my family history, from A to Z, in classic bureaucratic French style. At one point she asked me, “when was your last ‘frotti.’” Having no idea what this meant, I did a quick mental French vocabulary check. So, “frotte” meant “to rub.” Surely she didn’t mean to ask me when the last time it was that I masturbated. How about sex, then? As I tried to remember the last time I had been “frottied” she said in a perfect English accent, “pap smear.” Ah ha! I answered a few more questions about my grandmother’s cancer and my asthma, and we were through. By the time I had to strip down, I felt like I had known the doctor for years.



Dr. Villeneuve told me to take my pants and underwear off and sit on the table. Where was my paper apron thingy they normally give you? Nothing doing. I just had to pants myself and sit. And then, to my horror, the doctor proceeded to take my blood pressure. Couldn’t she do that while I was fully clothed? Did my bush have to be exposed while she was checking my risk of heart attack?



Minutes later, though, I was pushing back into the usual position. There was a lovely photo of the Buddha above my head in classy black and white. Gosh, I love these Paris doctors, I thought.



When Dr. Villeneuve had taken her fingers out of me, I started readying myself to sit up. Not so fast. On to the breast exam! As I wondered how I was going to expose my breasts to the doctor without becoming suddenly fully naked, she instructed me lift my top and take my bra off. So, fine, I lost that battle. I suddenly flashed back to the period in high school when I wasn’t sure if I was straight because I couldn’t get a guy to talk to me, and realized then and there that getting felt up by a girl was definitely not my thing.



Sitting up, I said, half-blushing, “It’s so different here than in the States,” referring to the awkward t-shirt lifting, bra unclasping moments before. “It’s hard to know what to do.” The doctor chuckled at my description of the open-in-the-back-ass-crack, life-size paper napkin we are given in the U.S. “Here, it’s a lot more…naked,” I grimaced.



We went back to her desk while she fiddled around with my, er, scrapings, when she asked me where I lived, down to my metro stop. Great, I thought, I was going to get asked out by my female gynecologist. Then I remembered how earlier I had confessed to having a regular boyfriend during the whole, “are you getting any” conversation and assured myself that I was in the clear.



“Now,” said my doctor, looking up. “I’m putting your pap smear in this envelope. It’s already stamped and addressed. All you have to do is fill out this form, enclose a check, and put it in the mail.” Was I getting this right? She wanted me to take my pap smear home with me? Sometimes the French were too much. First, no air conditioning or toilets in public places, and now this. Someone was going to get a nasty letter.



As I put the clear plastic case into my purse, I tried to keep the horror off my face while I thanked the doctor and wished her good day. After three years in France, this was definitely a new one.



Walking out of the office, I decided to look on the bright side. I wondered, what would my pap smear like to do for fun? I mean, it’s not everyday that she gets out and about. Perhaps I should show her a good time.



First, I ordered a Super Cookie from Mie Caline, the McDonald’s version of the French bakery. As I licked the chocolate from my lips, I considered offering her some. But then I remembered how too much sugar disturbs her flora and fauna and decided to just polish the thing off myself.



Next we rode on the metro. Whoa, did someone have motion sickness! I was surprised, considering all the vibration my pap smear is usually used to, considering I see my boyfriend a few times a week.



We got off at Hotel de Ville – one stop early – because I wanted my pap smear to see the Seine. If you’re going out for the first time in Paris, you really can’t miss it. We watched the boats go down the river and she even convinced me to take my sixth photo of the same scene. She can be pretty demanding, that little bitch.



Finally, we got to our destination. A Hungarian author was reading from his book in front of this great English bookshop near Notre Dame. My pap smear was all ears as the man spoke about book burning, poetry and Hungary before the war. At times, I started to drift off, but not my lil pap. Turns out she is quite the little history buff.



To polish off a great night, I treated her to a complimentary glass of rosé. I had sort of assumed she would be more of a red, Cotes-du-Rhone kind of girl, but she slurped her wine down in three gulps. Nobody ever said pap smears were classy.



On our way home, I gave pap a little pat through the cloth bag she was riding in. I felt that under such short notice, I had shown her a pretty decent time. We didn’t meet any men, but perhaps that would be for another time.



As I went to sleep, I felt comforted knowing pap was right next to me, just snoring away. I tried to keep the fan on her so she wouldn’t start disintegrating. Was I supposed to keep her in the fridge? The doctor hadn’t been too precise when handing her over.



The next morning was rough. Pap and I both knew we had to say goodbye; that we might never see each other again. But I promised her that her trip to the lab would be extremely exciting. And of course she believed me. Pap smears don’t get out that much.



On my way home from the post office, I looked in my day planner to see what the day had in store for me. To my horror, I saw that I had scheduled my first-ever appointment with a shrink. I guess we would have to talk about my troubled past during my second visit.

DIY: Recognize Cervical Cancer Symptoms

How to Recognize Cervical Cancer Symptoms

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

All women are at risk for cervical cancer. Over 90% of all cervical cancers are caused by human papillomavirus (HPV). With regular screening tests and follow-up, cervical cancer is the easiest female cancer to prevent. It is also highly curable when detected and treated early. This article will help you recognize the signs and symptoms of cervical cancer.

Steps

1. Know if you are at risk. Contracting HPV is not the only risk, other things can increase your chances of getting cervical cancer as well. They include:
   
   • Not having routine Pap tests (also known as Pap smears).
     
   • Not returning to see your doctor if you had an abnormal Pap test result.
     
   • Having HIV.
     
   • Smoking.
     
   
   
2. Understand that cervical cancer does not cause signs and symptoms. However, there are signs and symptoms as the cancer advances. Look for:
   
   • Unusual bleeding, such as bleeding after sex or between regular menstrual periods.
     
   • Pain during urination.
     
   • Pelvic pain not caused by menstruation.
     
   • Unusual vaginal discharge.
     
   
   
3. See your doctor immediately if you experience any of the listed signs or symptoms.
   

Tips

• The vaccine, Gardasil, can prevent 4 types of HPV infections, including the infections that cause most cervical cancers.
  
• 6 out of 10 cervical cancers occur in women who have never received a Pap test or who have not had testing within the past five years.
  
• At minimum, half of all sexually active people will have HPV at some time in their lives.
  
• There are steps you can take to lower your risk of contracting HPV.
  
  • Practice abstinence.
    
  • Use a condom.
    
  • Limit your number of sex partners.
    
  • Choose your sex partners wisely.
    
  • Maintain a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who has had few sex partners, and who has been tested and found to be free of HPV or other STDs.
    
  
  

Warnings

• The Gardasil vaccine does not protect against all cancer causing types of HPV.
  

Sources and Citations

• http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/gynecologic/gyn_overview.htm
  
• http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/
  
• http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/basic_info/
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Recognize Cervical Cancer Symptoms. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

What You Can Do Right Now About The Federal Abortion Ban

This was taken from here.

What You Can Do Right Now About The Federal Abortion Ban

The Supreme Court just issued its decision to uphold the Federal Abortion Ban. The ban, which has no exception for women’s health, opens the door for further political interference in our personal, private medical decisions.

Here are several things you can do right now to help fight back and protect a woman’s right to choose as recognized under Roe v. Wade.

1.) Make a donation.
If you believe that women and their doctors should never be forced into making difficult, personal, medical decisions based on extremist politics – then you must stand up and fight back. Click here to find out how we’re fighting back, and how you can help.

2.) Support the Freedom of Choice Act.
Urge your members of Congress to cosponsor the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA), to secure the right to choose by establishing a federal law guaranteeing reproductive freedom for future generations of American women.

3.) See how real women are affected.
Read the story of a woman whose health would have been in danger under the Federal Abortion Ban. Then, share this story with your friends.

4.) Share your thoughts.
Visit our blog to read and comment on pro-choice news and the future of a woman’s right to choose.

DIY: Know The Symptoms Of Ovarian Cancer

How to Know the Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Ovarian Cancer. It is a chilling and unmatching result of words that no one should ever put together. This type of cancer affects only women and it is much worse than breast cancer or any type of cancer for that fact. It is deadly and have killed at least or more than 15,520 women as of this year. Most of the deaths have been caused due to the fact the women did not know they have ovarian cancer. Do you not want to be one of those women?

Steps

1. Recognize the following symptoms:
   
   • Bloating
     
   • Pelvic or abdominal pain
     
   • Trouble eating or feeling full quickly after you begin eating
     
   • Urinary symptoms, such as urgent or frequent feelings of needing to go to the bathroom/restroom
     
   • Abnormal bleeding from your vagina, especially after menopause if you are not using any hormonal medicines
     
   • Pain or bleeding during sex or after sex
     
   • Decrease of energy
     
   • Fatigue and/or fever
     
   • Back pain
     
   • Difficulty breathing
     
   • Gastrointestinal symptoms (such as gas, indigestion, nausea, or changes in bowel movements)
     
   
   

Tips

• Go to a local doctor if you experience five or more of these symptoms within two weeks.
  
• Get tested as soon as possible. The sooner you get tested, the better the results will be.
  

Sources and Citations

• http://www.healthline.com/adamcontent/ovarian-cancer?utm_medium=ask&utm_source=smart&utm_campaign=article_toc&utm_term=Ovarian+cancer+treatment#treatment&ask_return=Ovarian+Cancertreatment
  
• http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000889.htm#Treatment
  
• http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ovariancancer.html
  
• http://www.webmd.com/ovarian-cancer/news/20061115/ovarian-cancer-new-treatment-working
  
• http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_4_2X_Do_we_know_what_causes_ovarian_cancer_33.asp
  
• http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_2_2X_What_causes_ovarian_cancer_33.asp?sitearea=
  
• http://www.medicinenet.com/ovarian_cancer/article.htm
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Know the Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

DIY: How To Do A Breast Self Examination

How to Do a Breast Self Examination

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Breast cancer is the most common disease and the second leading cause of cancer death among women. This year more than 211,000 new cases of breast cancer are expected in the United States. Of this number, 1,600 will be men, and 400 are predicted to die from the disease. Seventy percent of all breast cancers are found through breast self-examination. When breast cancer is detected early the five-year survival rate is 96%. By performing the following self-examination steps, you may detect any changes in your breasts early.

Steps

In The Shower

1. Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine left breast, and left hand for right breast.
   
2. Check for any lump, hard knot or thickening.
   
3. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.
   

In Front of a Mirror

1. Inspect your breasts with arms at your sides.
   
2. Raise your arms high over your head. Look for any changes in the contour of each breast, such as a swelling, a dimpling of skin or changes in the nipple.
   
3. Place your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Your left and right breasts will not exactly match - few women's breasts do.
   

Lying Down

1. Place a pillow under your right shoulder, place your right arm behind your head.
   
2. With fingers of left hand flat, press right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium and firm pressure.
   
3. Squeeze nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.
   

Tips

• Breast tissue is found all the way from the nipple to under the armpit. Be sure not to neglect checking along the side of your chest, as well, as it is still, technically, part of your breast.
  
• If you are wondering what to include in an early detection plan, here are some tips.
  
  • Do monthly breast self-exams starting at age 20.
    
  • Have a breast exam at a medical facility every three years from age 20 to 39 and every year from age 40.
    
  • Have a baseline mammogram by age 40.
    
  • Depending on the results of the mammogram, women 40 to 49 should have one every 1 -2 years.
    
  • Women 50 and older should have a mammogram every year.
    
  • Keep a record of your self examinations, mammograms and doctor visits.
    
  
  

Other checks for women

• The other part of the body women must check is their outer genital area. It is as just as easy as examining the breasts. This area is called the vulva and there is a such thing called vulvar cancer and to report any lumps, sores or anything which aren't feeling normal or right, to the doctor no matter how little it is. Another word for the vulva is the labia.
  

Treatments for vulvar cancer

• Biopsy
  
• Surgery to remove part/all of the vulva - This is called vulvectomy. Vulvectomy comes in different types, shown below
  
• Skinning vulvectomy - Removal of the top layers of the vulva only.
  
• Simple vulvectomy - Removal of the whole vulva only.
  
• Radical vulvectomy - Removal of the whole vulva, plus the lymph nodes on both sides of the groin
  
• Partial vulvectomy - Removal of part of the vulva/one side of the vulva only.
  
• Radiotherapy
  
• Chemotherapy
  
• Extensive female surgeries e.g. pelvic exenteration can sometimes include vulvectomy (vulva removal)
  

Warnings

• Breast cancer risk is higher among women who have a mother, aunt, sister or grandmother who was diagnosed before age 50.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Do a Breast Self Examination. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.