She Is My Best Friend

The article below was written for the "Riot Boy" section of my Riot Grrrl Online website. The article was written by Deshawn and he lives in the United States.

She Is My Best Friend

he was never my first love, she was and her name was riot grrrl. she entered my life as a 15 year-old boy still lost in his emotions and still learning what it was to live. out of this desire to be "different" from the "different" kids at school grew the love of a "different" way of life among the "different", a movement called riot grrrl. of course, at the time i was just beginning to experience and appericate this new found way of life, the media had already did their job of mislabeling and fucking up something so meaningful just a few years before. but, i knew if i still had felt what i felt at that time, so did others and i assumed correctly.
after feeding my new addiction daily, the internet, i would spend days on end reading about bands like bikini kill, building my vocabulary with new words such as feminism, and falling in love with such radical women like kathleen hanna. it wasn't until i was 16 when i first got my hands on a real bikini kill cd, the cd version of the first two records. at first listen, it was very intense, nothing like anything i was listening to at the time. bikini kill's sound was raw and jagged and their words blunt, very blunt. i began to take in the literature that i was reading online and the words in the cd booklet itself to heart.
at that time in my life i was experiencing, almost on a daily basis, domestic violence (physcially and emotionally), witnessing my mother being degraded in such a manner by someone who they had the god given right (literally) to do so because he was a "man". battling and coming to terms with my sexuality. straight? bisexual? gay? gay and that face that stared back at me in the mirror. yes, enough to drive anyone crazy in this openly image crazed society called america. instead, i learned to accept myself for who i was, learned that i do have rights as a human being, and somehow keep on livin'.
almost five years have passed since my discovery of riot grrrl and what an impact to this very day that it has shaped me into this black, queer, survior of abuse, pro-choice, feminist, activist, d.i.y., artist, aka ME, that i am today.