Boy

This article was written by: Kathleen Hanna in the early 1990's in a zine.

Boy

i will never be a rockstar.
i will never be rich.
i can't take back my tenth birthday or the love i felt for you. there are no words for the hands that're running all up with a liars veins, voice, words moist, so moist i believed. i believed that my best friends wouldn't lie to me.
i will never be what the world wants me to be or have sex right. i will never open my door cuz in the eyes of the law it means i just spread open my legs and closed my eyes and said "c'mon in." and i will never explain this to anyone i like cuz it'll get used against me. the fact that i am not dead makes me an open target for murder. i swallowed your pride, i swallowed your heart, i swallowed your cum, guess that's all part of it. there's no justice and i'm really mad that people keep acting like there is. i don't want to be a girl eaten up by your world, how can i watch girls eaten up by your world? how come i get hit and no one sees it? how come, bloodied, i am explaining to the man who hit me what he has done? why am i taking care of him, why oh why do i still love him...?
if you took away this lipstick would i still have a mouth underneath? is it true i'm only crying because i'm afraid to go to sleep? i will never be rich, not cuz rich doesn't matter, but because i am crazy because i am full of hate... crazy means you don't give a damn what anyone thinks.
when i was little my parents sent me to charm school and ballet. i don't remember what recital it was fat-stomached and eight years old i was getting photographed in a bikini and a crown. now i'm crazy, fulfilling the american dream and being hated for it, they are just jealous. i don't care.
i am in protest against the whole world. my body says it, slung into my clothes. i won't stop talking, i'm a girl you have no control over. there is not a gag big enough to handle this mouth. i'm gonna tell everyone what you did to me. and sometimes i'll tell it dramatic and sometimes i'll blurt it out. and the hand you laid on my bare ass will be invisible as it spills right out of me. i will still bear the brunt of it, your smell. they will tell me i am inappropriate with their eyes. i'm not writing to please you, i'm not giving you a clean little hole to stick your dick in, a nice smooth arrangement.
pick me up, open me, put me down.
so sorry, i'm no hemingway, i'm writing for survival, my kind is being killed off, in fact i'm not even sure i exist. these words on this page mean something, if only that i was here and my fingers made this mess. i don't know luxury, what it is to be carefree. that was your fantasy, remember?

I'm Sorry....No I'm Not

Written by: Kathleen Hanna for a zine in the early 1990's

I'm Sorry....No I'm Not

I'm sorry I don't believe it.
I'm sorry that I care.
no i'm not.
I'm not sorry that i still believe we are capable of creating something. that i don't think punk is just a big joke and that we should be little and make fun of ourselves for still believing that everything we do makes a difference
i don't care that it's no longer punk to have fun anymore. that it's no longer punk to criticize the society we live in.
so
what if i keep talking about abolishing wage-slavery while i keep working. it fucking beats the hell out of writing songs or zines about how we are all hypocrites and all our actions are worthless.
we are all hypocritical superwimps (?). we are never (?)
SO IF YOU'RE BEING ALL PUNK AS FUCK AND TALKING SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE AT LEAST TRY TO DO SOMETHING THAN I'M (NOT) SORRY BUT I GUESS THAT MEANS I'M NOT PUNK ANYMORE AND IF THAT'S WHAT PUNK IS I'M FUCKIN GLAD I'M NOT AS PUNK AS YOU
[Kathleen]
I am a fucking idiot. I still think we can change the world.

Color Activity Book Intro

This article was written by: Kathleen Hanna in the early 1990's, when Bikini Kill was still around and this was posted in a riot grrrl zine in the 1990's.

Color Activity Book Intro

Bikini Kill is a band and this is our little thing to give out at shows, etc... AND THEN THERE'S THE REVOLUTION.
Bikini Kill is more than just a band or a zine or an idea, it's a part of the revolution. The revolution is about going to the playground with your best girlfriends. You are hanging upside down on the bars and all the blood is rushing to your head. it's a euphoric feeling. the boys can see our underwear and we don't care.
I'm so sure that lots of girls are also in revolution and we want to find them. Sure our revolution has a lot to do with making ourselves important enough to start a revolution, but we also don't care about this... Because what makes us feel good without hurting others IS good. This society isn't my society cuz this society hates women and I don't. This society doesn't want us girls to feel happy or powerful in any way.
My girlfriends help me stop crying and start looking towards whats important (revolution) my girlfriends know the revolution (sex) my girlfriends aren't owned by me BUT have cringing and choking on boy cum in common (revolution) MY GIRLFRIENDS WANT REVOLUTION GIRL STYLE NOW.
Being sexy and powerful female is one of the most subversive projects of all. (We are the priestesses of a new kind of power oh yeah.)
We know we are not like this due to any weird gene formation or luck or trick. We are how we are from working together with our eyes open and having experience and getting help from out Moms and friends. We vow to struggle against the "j" word (jealousy) the killer of GIRL LOVE. We are not special, anyone can do it. ENCOURAGEMENT IN THE FACE OF INSECURITY is a slogan of the revolution.

Jigsaw Youth

Jigsaw Youth

We live in a world that tells us we must choose an identity, a career, a relationship, and commit... to these situations... as if we don't live in a world of constant flux... which we do. Don't freak out just cuz the jigsaw is laying on the floor and it's not all the way phone and has been laying there for 4 whole hours now, resist the freak out. You will get to it... it's all part of the process.
To force some forever identity on other people is stupid. Point out inconsistincies in their behavior, explain how they are not 'truly what they say' because you saw them 'do this' one time... why? Because it is easier to deal with cardboard cut outs than real people, cuz a lot of us pretend like we're the center of the universe sometimes and everyone is just background extras in the movie we imagine we star in. WELL WHILE WE ARE ALL ARGUING ABOUT WHOSE GONNA GET TO OPEN FOR THE MELVINS, WHOSE GONNA WEAR WHAT TO THE PARTY, WHO IS LAME/TAME BECAUSE THEY PERPETUATE THIS THING WE HATE, WHO IS NOT REALLY A PUNK ROCKER CUZ "I remember when he/she used to listen to Duran Duran", THE REVOLUTION IS GOING DOWN...no it's not happening without us, it is just plain not happening at all... it is going down under the gurgling sounds of our own voices, reproducing the voices of our parents in a slightly altered way, the TV people... trying to dictate to each other what is and what isn't cool or evolutionary or true resistence, what is or isn't true in other peoples lives we sit around making all these boxes and labels, nothing to put in them, we are wasting valuable time. FUCK THAT SHIT, LET'S START TALKING FOR REAL.
To be a stripper who is also a feminist, to be an abused child holding a microphone screaming all those things that were promised, in one way or another, "I won't tell." these are contradictions I have lived. They exist, these contradictions cuz I exist. Every fucking 'feminist' is not the same, ever fucking girl is not the same, okay??? Because I live in a world that hates women and I am one... who is struggling desparately not to hate myself and my best girlfriends, my whole life is constantly felt by me as a contradiction. In order for me to exist I must belive that two contradictory things can exist in the same space. This is not a choice I make, it just is.
JIGSAW, a puzzle made up of all different weird shaped pieces. It seems like it will never come together, it makes no sense, but it can and it does and it will. Jigsaw, pieces like where you grew up and in what kind of fucked up culture and do you have a penis or not and did your parents have money and did you get teased for wearing the same coat four winters in a row and are you Thai-american or Black or Mulatto? And what do all these things mean when you are trying to resist, do something, have a good time??? I see the Jigsaw, fuzzy in my head as everything else, sometimes clear. The fact that he grew up in a working class family has everything to do with he is gonna express sexism, what kind of music he is gonna like, how I am gonna treat him. Jigsaw girl, she got fucked by her father, 8 years, people say she's flakey and inconsistent, lays in her bed eating donuts, resisting going outside where the silence will engulf her, rather sit there wating than always being eaten up... her experience has everything to do with how the pieces are fitting together (or not) for her, judge her from your place without wondering what's going on in that there Jigsaw mind of hers, and you have pushed her further away from clicking, her hand wants so bad to feel, one edge against another, together, one piece next to another, locking into place... you have to be able to see the puzzle before you start putting it together.
Resistance is everywhere, it always has been and always will be. Just because someone is not resisting in the same way you are (being a vegan, an 'out' lesbian, a political organizer) does not mean they are not resisting. Being told you are a worthless piece of shit and not believing it is a form of resistence. One girl calling another girl to warn her about a guy who date raped her is another. And while she may look like a big haired makeup girl who goes out with jocks, she is a soldier along with every other girl, and even though she may not be fighting in the same loud way that some of us can (and do) it is the fact that she is resisting that connects us, puts a piece together.
Jigsaw Youth, I don't know what this means anymore than anyone... only what it means to me. Standing proud and saying "I don't know who I am, I wanna know more, I am not afraid to say things matter to me."
Assuming that people are either "part of the problem or part of the solution" disincludes a lot of people, who, at this moment, do not feel (and therefore ARE NOT) safe enough emotionally, physically, and/or financially to resist in the same ways you might be. By judging people according to your standards of resistence or whatever... it makes it harder for people to recognize what they're doing as being important and political, etc.... it makes it harder for them to get into safe enough situations where they can reisit in more outward, community oriented ways if they want to.

Jigsaw Youth, the island of lost and broken toys, feminists who wear lipstick, people who envision 'the land of do as you please', whose lives are not simple and they are sick of trying to make themselves cohesive enough to fit into a box. Jigsaw Youth, listening, strategizing, tolerating, screaming, confronting, fearless, girl soldiers, boy lovers, boofy haired teen girls scraping out the eyes on a photo of Rick Astley, Jigsaw Youth, the misunderstood seeking to understand other people's reality. Making mistakes... making mistakes... making mistakes... making mistakes... feeling something. Knowing you will never see the puzzle put all together but trying anyways cuz each fucking piece really matters and being with friends matters. Jigsaw Youth... inventing and reinventing what these words
mean.

Written by Kathleen Hanna from Jigsaw Fanzine #4 Spring 1991 Olympia, Washington.

Burn Down The Walls That Say You Can't

The article below was written by Kathleen Hanna for one of her riot grrrl zines in the early 1990’s.

Burn Down The Walls That Say You Can't

Be a dork, tell your friends you love them

Resist the temptation to view those around you as objects & use them.

Recognize empathy and vulnerability as positive forms of strength.

Resist the internalization of capitalism, the reducing of people & oneself to commodities, meant to be consumed.

Resist psychic death.

Don't allow the world to make you into a bitter abusive asshole

Cry in public.

Don't judge other people. Learn to be yourself

Acknowledge emotional violence as real.

Figure out how the idea of competition fits into your intimate relationships

Decide that you'd rather learn stuff than prove you're right all the time.

Believe people when they tell you they are hurting or are in pain.

Recognize you are not the center of the universe.

Recognize your connection to other people and species.

Make additions to this list and/or think about why you don't agree w/some of what i've written.

Don't assume people invent pain in order to mainpulate you or make you feel bad.

Close your mind to the propaganda of the status quo by examining its effects on you, cell by artificial cell.

Trust

Riot Grrrl Manifesto

Riot Grrrl Manifesto Written By: Kathleen Hanna

BECAUSE us girls crave records and books and fanzines that speak to US that WE feel included in and can understand in our own ways.

BECAUSE we wanna make it easier for girls to see/hear each other's work so that we can share strategies and criticize-applaud each other.

BECAUSE we must take over the means of production in order to create our own moanings.

BECAUSE viewing our work as being connected to our girlfriends-politics-real lives is essential if we are gonna figure out how we are doing impacts,
reflects, perpetuates, or DISRUPTS the status quo.

BECAUSE we recognize fantasies of Instant Macho Gun Revolution as impractical lies meant to keep us simply dreaming instead of becoming our dreams AND THUS seek to create revolution in our own lives every single day by envisioning and creating alternatives to the bullshit christian capitalist way of doing things.

BECAUSE we want and need to encourage and be encouraged in the face of all our own insecurities, in the face of beergutboyrock that tells us we can't play our instruments, in the face of "authorities" who say our bands/zines/etc are the worst in the US and....

BECAUSE we don't wanna assimilate to someone else's (boy) standards of what is or isn't

BECAUSE we are unwilling to falter under claims that we are reactionary "reverse sexists" AND NOT THE TRUEPUNKROCKSOULCRUSADERS THAT WE KNOW we really are

BECAUSE we know that life is much more than physical survival and are patently aware that the punk rock "you can do anything" idea is crucial to the coming angry grrrl rock revolution which seeks to save the psychic and cultural lives of girls and women everywhere, according to their own terms, not ours.

BECAUSE we are interested in creating non-heirarchical ways of being AND making music, friends, and scenes based on communication + understanding, instead of competition + good/bad categorizations

BECAUSE doing/reading/seeing/hearing cool things that validate and challenge us can help us gain the strength and sense of community that we need in order to figure out how bullshit like racism, able-bodieism, ageism, speciesism, classism, thinism, sexism, anti-semitism and heterosexism figures in our own lives.

BECAUSE we see fostering and supporting girl scenes and girl artists of all kinds as integral to this process.

BECAUSE we hate capitalism in all its forms and see our main goal as sharing
information and staying alive, instead of making profits of being cool according to traditional standards.

BECAUSE we are angry at a society that tells us Girl=Dumb, Girl=Bad, Girl=Weak

BECAUSE we are unwilling to let our real and valid anger be diffused and/or
turned against us via the internalization of sexism as witnessed in girl/girl jealousism and self defeating girltype behaviors

BECAUSE I believe with my wholeheartmindbody that girls constitute a revolutionary soul force that can, and will change the world for real.